I'm Sorry I Was So Wrong About President Bush

Today, as President Bush marches confident and alone into a conference room to give sworn public testimony to the 9/11 commission, I have to admit, finally, that I was totally wrong about this guy. He didn't have to go into that room alone, after all: the commission had offered the option of appearing jointly with Vice President Cheney and White House Counsel Gonzalez and a few other aides. In fact, they begged him not to go alone. They even said he didn't have to appear under oath, or even have a recording or transcript made of the proceedings!

But no. Fearless and resolute, our great President knew that if he had insisted on appearing only as long as Dick Cheney was with him, he might be perceived as a stupid and weak man, unable to take responsibility, unable to speak for himself, perhaps only a figurehead president. He knew that appearing together with Dick Cheney might reinforce the idea that they had to keep their stories straight, or perhaps that Cheney wouldn't trust him not to slip up in front of the commission. He knew that if he insisted on not giving testimony under oath, it might reinforce the notion that he and Cheney have something to hide. And in a time of war, our brave, honest and forthright wartime president knows that he cannot even be perceived as weak, stupid, incoherent, dependent, dissembling, devious, and completely untrustworthy, a failure not merely as President, but as a man -- because that might undermine the war effort. And so, with a stout heart and his unflagging confidence that God will see him through, our greatest President -- for I truly, now, believe he is just that -- stood alone before those commissioners, swore an oath to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, and then he proceeded to fulfill that oath. In so doing, he demonstrated that he is the only one who can protect America and see this war through.

Speaking of the war, on this too, I have to admit that I was totally and completely wrong, and the Bush administration was 100% right. You know, I guess I should just have taken them at their word when they told us, "trust us. We know more than you do." Remember how some skeptics just wouldn't be convinced about the immiment threat that Saddam's nuclear, chemical and biological arsenal posed to America? Well now that we have uncovered vast stores of WMDs, all poised to strike America, we know that no matter what the CIA was telling him, President Bush knew they were there, and that a pre-emptive strike was exactly the right thing to do. Remember all those predictions before the war of rioting and looting in the streets? Remember how some weak-kneed commentators kept saying how 100,000 troops couldn't possibly keep the peace in Iraq, or that there needed to be a clear exit strategy? They obviously didn't know what they were talking about, and the absolutely brilliant war and reconstruction plan put forward by the Pentagon is proof enough of that. (I think Rumsfeld was absolutely right to shut out those State Department pansies who predicted postwar chaos and thought they knew something about nation building.) And all that talk about an open-ended quagmire? You don't hear that anymore, do you? Now that our service people are back home, and Iraq has become a stable and prosperous democracy, a beacon of hope to the Middle East and the world, I have to just marvel at how completely wrong I was about these guys. And remember when they said that Iraqi oil revenues would pay for the reconstruction? They were completely right! This whole expedition hasn't cost the American taxpayers a dime! It's just incredible, isn't it? The Bush team did exactly the right thing by not budgeting for the war or the occupation, or even telling Congress how much they thought it would cost. Who could have believed that it wouldn't cost anything?

President Bush was also right about democracy in the Middle East. I have to admit that I was one of those people with a strong conviction that brown-skinned people cannot govern themselves, and George W. Bush put me in my place regarding that. I'm ashamed that I ever held this opinion. (Bush knows better, of course, because he has plenty of brown-skinned domestic help.) We now know that the brown-skinned Iraqis can very well govern themselves, as is demonstrated by the remarkably peaceful transition to democratic government and the rule of law. It just makes me proud to be an American.

The war in Iraq was a war that this President never wanted to fight. He decided to fight only when it was clear that war was necessary to protect America, only after having exhausted every possible avenue of diplomatic action, and only after deep consultation with our allies and friends around the world. The proof of that is in the 100-plus countries who committed thousands and thousands of troops to the war. They were right. Bush was right. I was totally wrong, and I'm really, really, sorry. I'm sorry I said anything bad about him, but now he makes me proud to be an American. And now, I can't wait for Election Day, when I get to vote on a Diebold voting machine for Bush -- whether I actually vote for him or not.